Accepting “The Selfie” – Notes From a Hypocrite

by Kaya Marriott

Since starting this blog, I have taken more selfies than I have in my whole life.

I am not saying I have taken an obscene amount of photos the past two months (though the boyfriend may beg to differ), but rather that up until the start of 2016, you can count how many selfies I have taken on two hands. This is because I was a self-titled “Selfie Hater”.


IMG_0157_FotorMy friends disregarded selfies, so I did too. 

From grade 1 to grade 12, I was part of the French Immersion program at my school.

I am not meaning to generalize, but I have always felt that either the program itself, or the type of family that chose to put their kids in French immersion, tended to produce teenagers with a more global set of values.

By high school, a good percentage of the kids in my classes were already mini social/ environmental/ political activists, and many preferred the rhythm of their own drum over beauty trends and taking pictures of themselves (unless they were really cool and artistic pictures, of course). This overall awareness of ideas like “the societal construct of beauty” and of conforming to the norm, grew within me an overall aversion to something as mainstream as selfie taking.

The vanity of “The Selfie”.IMG_0129_Fotor

At the peak of my contempt for selfies, I felt there were only two reasons someone would take one.

  1. They were extremely vain.
  2. They had low self esteem, and were searching for validation.

While at my core I still feel the above are two pretty strong underlying factors, I have found a new appreciation for selfies, and am now a self-proclaimed hypocrite.

Blogging and Selfies.

Here’s the thing. When I finally decided to start my blog, I looked back on what inspired me to start my natural hair journey. When it got down to it, the blog posts and how-to’s were great for information, but the selfies I found on Pinterest taken by beautiful naturalistas were what really got me hooked on embracing my natural hair. 

So when it was time for me to start my blogging journey, I looked at what I wanted to do. Besides sharing my opinions and stories, I also wanted to inspire other people to embrace what they were born with, and I realized selfies would have to be a part of that.

A new point of view.

Natural Hair Concealed in Beanie

The first selfie I shared with the internet since starting my blog was the one in my post, “The Madness Beneath the Hat”. When I posted it, I was terrified of anyone I knew in real life seeing it. That is how embarrassed I was for having taken AND having posted a selfie. 

Now I am realizing that despite whatever attention someone may be seeking, or how vain they may be, there is definitely a vulnerability that comes with sharing photos of yourself online. Unless you are an Instagram Model, or have a massive internet following obsessing over everything you post, it is hard to guess how people will respond to your image. (And to be fair, I’m sure some of the most popular Instagrammers feel that moment of doubt the moment they press  the “Share” button.)


So what are your opinions on “The Selfie”? Do you think it’s all for attention and validation? Or is it your way of showing your confidence and self-love? Leave your comments below, and don’t forget to subscribe! 

~Comfy Girl With Curls

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DaLoveLee1 February 26, 2016 - 12:18 pm

I take selfies all the time but I do feel self-conscious when I post them. The act of taking them builds my confidence and boosts my spirit. My grandmother would have me look in the mirror so I could see how ugly my face looked when I cried. For whatever reason, the tears stopped when I peaked at myself. I made my face more presentable. Selfies reinforce my attitude. I figure, if I don’t love and admire me, no one else should. So I post, regardless of what people say and think. I have to learn to embrace me. That’s what my natural journey has been about.

Great post. I really relate to it.

ComfyGirlWithCurls July 27, 2016 - 6:25 pm

Thank you for reading! And that’s such an interesting perspective, and I love it! I think the internet has made it so easy to to pass quick judgements on people when really others are probably struggling just as much as we are!

riannemitchell February 26, 2016 - 10:15 am

I think its a bit of both, if its a selfie to make a point, coincide with a blog or whatever fair enough… But if its a selfie like – hey i look today dont you love how i look- then im not really a fan as its attention seeking. But then again its good to appreciate yourself lol
Whenever i take a selfie i do feel self conscious of what other people will think- which is stupid, if i like how i look why shouldnt i post it.

ComfyGirlWithCurls July 27, 2016 - 6:21 pm

This is totally fair! Although I’m learning the same thing, where maybe people just like the ay they look and are confident in it, nothing more! But at the end of the day, does it really affect me if people are attention seeking or not?


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